The Things I Couldn't Say Then
by JustCallMeMarly
Summary: Jason returns at a pivotal point in Carly's life. Their feelings for each other have gone on as a chapter unclosed. Will they close it, or embrace it?
1. Prologue

_A/N - I started this story a LONG time ago - right after Jason came back when Carly had her accident. Now, I really am a Carly/Jason fan - they are the "should have been" couple that I constantly root for while the writers are constantly screwing even their friendship up. But, alas, I am only a fan. What does my opinion matter? Anyways, be patient with this one... it was my FIRST GH story ever and I'm in the process of editing and (cross your fingers) expanding this tale. Still, I'd love to know what you think..._

_Standard disclaimers apply here... I own none of the characters, I'm just borrowing them to right things in my head..._

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_****_Prologue_**

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It should have been storming. For the way she felt, it would have only been fitting.

_Why?_ Why could no one love her when they said they did? Why do they always leave her in the dirt... alone... so alone? Just like Jason, Sonny ripped her heart out. Seeing him with Alexis... it just kept replaying in her head. She reached up to wipe the tears that were falling... she knew that they would never stop. Jason was gone, Sonny didn't love her, and Zander didn't want her - there was no one she could turn to.

She jerkily turned the corner and wiped more tears. Her vision was blurry, so she wasn't able to see that she was going over 70 miles per hour. And because of the blurry vision, she didn't see the guardrail indicating another corner. Before she knew it, she was airborne. There were two thoughts going through her head before the car hit the water.

One was "Michael, my baby..."

The other: "Jason... help me."


	2. Part I

**The Things I Couldn't Say Then**

_Part I_

He'd come back with the fear that she was really gone - that this wasn't a dream. Pulling his motorcycle up to the curb, Jason turned the machine off and looked up at the high rise in front of him. Sonny had called him telling him about the accident. He'd been confident then that Carly would come out of it okay. But then Johnny had called a few days later and informed him that the much-awaited DNA results had come in. Carly was dead.

And that was why he was here. To say goodbye - although it was a little late for that. Jason sighed as he pulled off the black gloves and put them in the pockets of his signature leather jacket. It was going to be hard enough to face Sonny – the man had loved Carly, Jason knew that without a doubt. But it was still going to hurt to look at his best friend and not see the betrayal of almost a year past. He had to set that aside - for now. The past had to be put away.

"Hey Johnny," Jason said as he stepped off the elevator. The bodyguard gave him a pained smile.

"Hello, Mr. Morgan," he said. Johnny had been Carly's favorite guard - and Johnny had liked Carly as well. Jason nodded to him as he stepped up to the door. Pushing it open, he was taken back in time. He could see the three of them sitting around the fireplace arguing - well, it had been Carly and Sonny arguing and Jason just listening in most of the time. He could see Carly sitting on the couch with Michael in her arms, smiling. He could see her telling him she loved him - Jason - over and over again. And he could see her coming down those stairs wearing nothing but the silk dress shirt known to be worn by the one and only Sonny Corinthos. Jason shook the memory from his head. He couldn't think about that right now - not with the one and only Sonny Corinthos sitting right in front of him.

"Sonny," he greeted, walking gingerly into the room. The dark-haired mobster sat in the black leather chair facing the door. He said nothing, only swirled his brandy. So, Jason stood, waiting to be acknowledged by his best friend. It took a couple of minutes.

"You thought of her as soon as you walked in that door, didn't you?" Sonny asked, not even looking up at his closest friend and associate. Jason closed his eyes before answering. He wasn't known to lie.

"I never stopped thinking about her," he answered honestly. Dark eyes looked up to meet unflinching blue ones. Sonny looked down again at the amber colored alcohol and nodded. He lifted it to his lips and downed it in one swallow.

"She never stopped loving you," he said standing up. Jason continued to watch his employer. "As much as she said she loved me, fought for me - it was her loving you and fighting for the remnants of you she saw in me. I was the closest she could get to you." Jason remained silent, outwardly unaffected, but inside his heart ached at those words.

"She loved you Sonny," Jason said, knowing it was true. Sonny laughed a humorless laugh as he turned to face his friend.

"Yeah," Sonny said, sobering quickly. "She did, in whatever way she could after loving you. But I killed that." Jason frowned at that, stepping closer to his friend. "I killed her."

"This is not your fault, Sonny. You didn't do anything," Jason said, laying a hand on his arm.

"I slept with Alexis… that night," he said. Jason's hand retracted as if burned.

"What?" he asked in a mixture of confusion, anger and disgust.

"Alexis was… there. She's been a good friend. She hasn't done anything to make me question her..." he said, going to the bar and filling his glass again. Jason knew the rest.

"So the opportunity arose, you took it, and Carly found you. She got upset," he finished for Sonny. Carly's pain and jealousy caused a lot of problems. They both knew that. They both knew that the hard way. Silence ensued. Jason didn't know what to say.

"We were getting divorced, you know," Sonny said. "It wasn't like I owed her anything..." Jason saw red for a few seconds, but controlled the outburst of temper.

"You couldn't let her go, you couldn't let her move on to someone else, you kept giving her hope that you two would get back together and you didn't owe her anything? That's bullshit," Jason said trying to keep the emotion from his voice. Sonny looked over at the man next to him, surprised.

"I've heard the stories, Sonny - I know how things went down. I know she kissed Zander and you lost it because she may have moved on… and I know that whenever she got jealous of you and Alexis you just laughed it off and treated her like a child. It must kill you that she was right in the end," Jason said not even bothering to cover the criticism and condescension. Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose before nodding slightly.

"I deserve that," he said.

"Yeah, you do," Jason said. He watched Sonny for a few minutes longer before turning and heading out the door. Johnny nodded to him as he stepped in the elevator and made his way out to his motorcycle. Jason didn't know what to think… It was an ironic twist that almost a year ago Jason had felt that his best friend had betrayed him when Sonny slept with Carly.

And now, Carly felt betrayed by that same best friend when he'd slept with Alexis. And just like Jason had years before, Carly had run away. And as usual, Carly running away got her in trouble. This time, it was something that Jason couldn't fix. Jason pounded his hand in frustrated grief on the seat of his motorcycle. Carly had gotten herself into millions of messes, millions of situations, and caused millions of problems in the past - and Jason would do anything to fix them for her. To save her. But he couldn't fix this. He couldn't save her this time.

"Damn it!" he yelled to anyone that would hear as he crouched down next to his bike, laying his head in his hands. A few tears started to fall and he couldn't stop them. They were the first tears he'd shed since getting the call from Johnny. He never told her he loved her. If he regretted anything - and Jason Morgan never regretted anything - that was it. He hadn't told the one woman in the entire world that owned his heart, his soul and his very being that he loved her.

Jason let out a mirthless laugh as he stood up and seated himself on his bike. He'd had every opportunity to tell her over the years. God knew she told him she loved him every time they saw each other. And what did he do? He denied it - to himself, to her and to everyone else that would hear it. He even gave Carly away at her wedding to Sonny saying that it was for the best, that he would never love her like she needed him to. He fucking gave her away! He had stood there while his two best friends pledged their lives to each other! It was a day he was very unlikely to forget. It was a day that he had _never_ been more wrong.

Revving the engine on the bike, he took off. He'd known then that she didn't love Sonny - and he'd known that those tears in her eyes weren't ones of happiness, but ones of knowing that Jason wasn't going to do anything to stop it. If only she'd known that he had valiantly held himself back from tearing her away from Sonny that day. If only she'd known that he had furiously objected - but she didn't, and now she never would. He'd disappointed her; just like he had the day she'd stupidly married A.J. He drove and drove and drove, picturing all of the memories he'd had with her. A fairly easy thing to do since, technically, he had only about six years of memory to contend with.

He continued to drive as the memories of her played over and over. The moment he saw her in Jake's... the night he opened his penthouse door, and there she stood, soaking wet and pregnant with Michael... the whole Sonny/Hannah situation... the night that he kissed her. He thought back to the night that he told her he couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved - the night he broke her heart and his own. If he'd just said something different. If he could just have her back, she'd never doubt his love for her. If he could just see her again, he'd hold her and never let her go.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her club. He took a deep breath and walked into it. He looked around and could see why Carly was so proud of it. It was her declaration of independence and she pulled it off. He turned around to look around and noticed Zander sitting at a table in the corner. He walked over and stood looking down at the man.

"What are you doing here, Zander?" he asked in his typical, not-asking sort of way. The dark-haired young man looked up at him, tears in his eyes.

"What do you care, Morgan?" he asked defiantly. "You left her… over and over, in fact. Why do you care that I'm here? I was her friend. I have every right to be here, to be in a place she loved. Why are _you_ here?" Jason just looked at him.

"I'm here because I'm here," he said. Zander just smirked humorlessly.

"Figures. You can't say it even now, can you? No wonder she moved on to Sonny," he said. Jason frowned.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his annoyance at Zander increasing.

"That's where you and Sonny are alike, you know? You both loved her - but you couldn't, or should I say _wouldn't_, do anything about it. You both strung her along, to keep her in love with you guys, but you wouldn't let her go. You both could move on, but she couldn't. God forbid she actually be happy with somebody," Zander said with as much malice as he could muster. Jason's annoyance was replaced with anger. He stepped forward and took Zander by the collar of his coat.

"You have no right to talk about things you know nothing about," he growled.

"I know plenty," Zander growled back.

"I loved her… I will always love her. Deep down I think she knew that," Jason said. Zander laughed quietly and shook his head.

"You keep telling yourself that. If she'd known you loved her, she would have tried to find you. But instead, she came to me. Me, because she knew - deep down - that I loved her." Jason's jaw clenched, knowing that Zander knew more than Sonny had let on.

"What do you know?" he asked, angrier than he'd ever been in his life. Zander laughed again.

"I know that she went over to Sonny's with a birthday card from Michael. I know that she was worried about Sonny. _Worried_! And you know what she saw? She saw Alexis in bed with Sonny. So, being Carly, she got upset - and she came to see me. She wanted someone to love her, and she knew I did..." he said. Jason tightened his hold on Zander, knowing exactly what he was implying.

"You didn't," he said through a clenched jaw wanting so badly to hit the other man.

"I'd like to make you suffer with the did he or didn't he game - but, for some reason, I won't. No, I didn't. I told her to leave. Not because I was a gentleman or because I didn't want her. I just didn't want to be second place, or third place. It wasn't even out of loyalty to Sonny. I just didn't want his face - or _yours_, for that matter - on mine," he said. Jason shoved Zander away from him and wanted to go pound the crap out of the kid. And that's all he was - a kid with a schoolboy crush. And he was trying to push Jason's buttons.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here," an accented voice said from the Club 101 doorway. Jason didn't need to look to know that Jasper Jacks stood in the doorway.

"And you need, what, Jax?" Zander asked looking at the blond man.

"Well, this is my club. I think I have the right to be here. Now, what about you two?" he asked.

"I'm here because I want to be," Jason reiterated, crossing his arms. Jax just smiled.

"That's right. I forgot. You're Sonny's errand boy, you think you can do anything. Sorry to break it to you, Morgan, but your presence isn't wanted here. And that goes for you too, Zander," the Aussie said. Zander glared at Jax. "I'm here for Carly, not to please you," he said. At this, Jax let out a laugh. "Right, right. Carly's staunch supporter. Doesn't it bother you that her long lost boy toy is back?" he asked the dark-haired man. Jason held his position as he watched Zander out of the corner of his eye.

"Does it bother you?" Zander asked Jax point blank.

"Excuse me?" Jax asked.

"It was common knowledge in some circles that you wanted her for awhile there as well. You know, trying to turn her into another Brenda..." Zander said. Jason inwardly winced as the anger on the Aussie's face became almost palpable.

"Watch it, Smith - you're about to cross a line you don't want to cross," he said, blue eyes blazing at the younger man. Zander shrugged.

"What does it matter anymore? You wanted Carly just as much as I did, only for different reasons. Too bad she wasn't a brunette, right?" he said with a hateful smile.

"I'm warning you," Jax gritted out. Again, Zander smiled.

"You don't have to. All I know was that you were using Carly just like every other piece of shit in this town. You may hate Sonny, but you treated her the exact same way he did - that goes for both of you," Zander said, crossing his arms and looking between Jason and Jax.

"Carly and I were friends," Jax said before Zander let out a loud laugh.

"Yeah. So was I - so was he," Zander said, pointing to Jason. "We all know what Carly did with her friends - so, did you get a piece of the action as well?" Jason had heard enough.

"You never know when to shut your mouth, do you Zander," he said stepping forward and taking his arm. Zander whipped his arm out of Jason's grip.

"Oh don't play the betrayed boyfriend now, Morgan," Zander sneered.

"I'm not playing anything! You've crossed the line by insulting Carly. Say whatever you want about me, but I don't want to hear you say things like that about her ever again," he said, the look of stone on his face portraying his seriousness. But Zander wasn't intimidated. He just laughed.

"A little late to be defending her honor, isn't it, Jason?" he said sadly, shrugging his way out of the taller man's grip. Straightening his jacket, he gave a last look to the two men in his presence and then walked out of the club. Silence ensued as Jason and Jax stood there, not knowing what to say. Neither of them liked the other, it wasn't a secret. But both of them liked Carly.

"You've still got your guys out looking for her, right?" Jason asked, knowing that neither man really believed Carly dead. Just like Bobbie, they were in denial as well. Jax just nodded, avoiding looking at Jason. It was a few seconds of strained silence again before Jax spoke.

"She loved you, Morgan. And it was her love for you that destroyed her the first time - you just weren't around when it did. She ended up loving Sonny because you gave her no choice. And her love for him destroyed her too. The only difference is, there is no way to fix it this time," Jax said.

"Don't you think I know that, Jax? Don't you think that I don't think about this every second of every day? I know that I probably won't ever be able to see her again and it kills me," Jason responded, more emotion in his voice than he intended. Jax looked at Jason, sad blue eyes meeting even sadder blue eyes.

"She was a wonderful woman… granted with a lot of faults, but she was wonderful all the same. And she was a wonderful mother. Michael was lucky to have her for his mother," Jax said, looking around the club before turning and walking back to the offices. Jason just stood there. He closed his eyes as a thought came to his head. _Michael._

_

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_

The Brownstone

"How's the little champ doing?" Scott Baldwin asked of Bobbie Spencer. Bobbie looked up from her perch on the couch. The tears had dried for now, but there was a look of fear upon her face. Fear of losing another child. She'd lost BJ in an accident. She wasn't going to lose Carly as well. Her daughter was alive. _Alive, damn it!_ And she was going to come home. The thoughts brought tears to Bobbie's eyes again, but she took a deep breath and held them back.

"Michael is sleeping right now," she said, looking at the clock. It was a little past 9:30 in the evening.

"Does he know anything yet?" the blond man asked. Bobbie shook her head.

"I'm not sure what to tell him. Right now, he just knows that his mommy is gone. I'm not sure what Sonny wants to tell him," she said.

"I hate to bring this up, but what about a funeral?" Scott asked, taking Bobbie's hand gently in his. Bobbie shook her head.

"I really don't want to think about a funeral right now. I don't believe she's dead, Scott. How can I plan a funeral when I know my daughter is still alive?" she asked, turning to face Scott. The doorbell cut off any reply he could have made. Bobbie stood up with a sigh.

"If it's a reporter, I'm not responsible for what I might do," she grumbled. Scott stood up with her, squeezed her hand and pulled her with him towards the door. Scott opened the door and Bobbie's eyes widened in surprise.

"Jason!" she said before stepping forward and embracing him.

"Hi Bobbie," he said, hugging her back. "How are you holding up?" The redhead stepped back and gave him a small smile.

"Probably about as well as you," she said taking his arm and pulling him into the house. She looked up at him. On the surface, looking at Jason Morgan, you'd never be able to tell if anything was wrong. But she knew this man, and she knew his roller-coaster history with her daughter. He was a wreck. After giving her a small smile back, he looked up.

"Morgan," Scott greeted. Jason nodded.

"Baldwin," he answered. The two men didn't like each other much - but it was expected from a lawyer and a mobster.

"Have you seen Sonny? How's he doing?" Bobbie asked.

"I saw him earlier. He's doing about as well as can be expected," Jason hedged. Bobbie nodded.

"I was hoping he would come see Michael today, but he didn't," she said. Jason took Bobbie's hand.

"How is Michael?" he asked, his eyes softening at the thought of his 'son'. Bobbie's smile widened.

"He's growing so much, Jason! You should see him! He's such a smart little kid, and cute as the devil. Carly's done so well with him," she said. At the mention of her daughter's name, Bobbie's face fell. Jason pulled her into another hug.

"Don't worry, Bobbie. We'll get this figured out. Jax and Sonny both have their men scouring the city. They'll find her," he said, not even implying that there was a chance they wouldn't. Bobbie nodded.

"I know, Jason. I have faith..." she said as she pulled back and wiped a stray tear from her eye.

"Do you want to go look in on Michael?" she asked. Jason nodded.

"Yeah, I'd like that," he said.

"Elizabeth is sitting with him right now. I think she just got him to sleep," she said. Jason nodded as he headed towards the stairs. He hadn't seen Michael in over a year. He'd checked up with a lot of the guards on how he was doing, but other than that… Jason opened the door quietly and walked slowly into the room. Jason put a finger up to his lips to signal quiet at the surprise in Elizabeth's eyes. She nodded as she disentangled herself from the sleeping little boy and stood up.

"Jason, what are you doing here?" she whispered. Jason just gave her a look.

"Right... Carly," she said with a bit of distaste. Ignoring the comment, Jason knelt down next to the bed so he could look at Michael. Bobbie had been right, he had grown a lot. Jason's eyes got uncharacteristically misty when he thought that his 'son' would never see his mother again. Michael stirred a bit, causing Jason to step back. After a second, he leaned back on the bed and laid a gentle kiss on Michael's forehead. Standing again, he nodded to Elizabeth and walked out of the room.

"Jason?" Elizabeth called to him as he descended the stairs. Jason took a deep breath before turning around. He liked Elizabeth Webber just fine - as a friend. But he couldn't help but be a little bit bitter over the fact that she was one of the reasons he lost these years with Carly to begin with. The night that he danced with her at Kelly's cost him more than she could ever replace.

"What Elizabeth?" he asked. If she was surprised at his tone of voice, she didn't show it.

"I was wondering if you wanted to talk, or something," she said, reaching the stair that he was on and laying a hand on his arm. Jason looked down at her hand and then back up at her.

"Maybe another time, Elizabeth. I've got a lot of things to do tonight," he said. He had really no intention of searching her out later. She nodded and watched as Jason made his way into the Spencer living room to continue grieving a woman that she, Elizabeth, had no clue why people missed. Carly Roberts-Benson-Spencer-Quartermaine-Corinthos certainly didn't deserve all of this concern. Port Charles was a better place without her from Elizabeth's point of view. Jason cast one last look up the stairs before he went to find Carly's mother again.

"Hey, Bobbie. I'm going to head over to the PC Hotel for now. Here's my number in case you hear anything or need anything," Jason said handing her his cell phone number. Bobbie took it and looked up at the man.

"You can stay here, if you need to Jason. Carly's room is upstairs next to Michael's," she offered. Jason smiled at her as he took her hand in his.

"I don't think I could handle that right now," he said honestly. Bobbie smiled and nodded.

"I didn't think you would, but I wanted to offer all the same. Carly would have my head if I didn't," she said. Jason nodded before leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you, Bobbie," he said. With a sigh, the older woman crossed her arms across her chest in a self-hug gesture.

"Sonny called," she said, looking at the young man next to her. He looked over at her.

"Yeah?" he asked. Bobbie looked down at the floor and hugged herself tighter. Scott put a reassuring arm around her.

"He wants to talk about funeral plans," she almost choked out. Jason was silent for a few seconds.

"Does that mean he took his men off of the search?" he asked softly, denying it in his head but knowing it was true. Bobbie nodded an affirmative. Jason sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed suddenly, shocking both Scott and Bobbie by the burst of emotion. Jason whipped out his cell phone and dialed. "Johnny! Yeah, I just heard, man. What the hell is he thinking? We haven't proved anything yet. I know there's DNA evidence. That evidence could have been fixed. I know Carly, and she would fight this with everything in her… I know, Johnny… but I don't feel it. Good. Great. Call me if someone gets something." Jason hung up and turned to Bobbie. She had a look of gratitude on her face.

"Jason, Carly is my daughter. I don't know her half as well as you probably do, and I still don't feel that she is gone. Hearing you say that you don't think she is either… now I'm positive she's still alive," she said. Jason smiled in reassurance.

"Carly is the dirtiest fighter I know. She wouldn't let something like this get her. Anyways, Johnny told me that Sonny took everyone off, but some of the guards - well, they liked Carly. So they've been doing their own search in their time off, Johnny taking the lead," he said. Bobbie nodded.

"Please thank them for me for taking such good care of Carly, okay?" she asked pulling Jason into a hug.

"I will," he promised.

"Good. Now, you go get some sleep," she ordered. Jason nodded and with a quick look at Scott, he left. Bobbie watched Jason leave from the window with a sad face.

"Oh, Carly," she said sadly.

_

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_

The Penthouse - the next day

"What?" Jason said incredulously as he stood just inside the penthouse doorway.

"Bobbie and I have talked things over and..." Sonny started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you. I just don't get it. Do you really think she's dead?" Jason asked his friend. Sonny shrugged.

"Jason, I don't really know what to think. There's DNA evidence, there was a body. What else am I suppose to think? I don't want her to be dead just as much as you do… she was my wife, Jason. How could I want her to be dead?" Sonny said, extending an arm out.

"Ex-wife, Sonny. She was your ex-wife," Jason felt inclined to point out. The mobster's head popped up to glare at Jason.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked suspiciously.

"Whatever you want it to mean," Jason said with a shrug. Sonny's eyes narrowed.

"You blame me, don't you? You blame me for Carly being dead," he said.

"Carly's not dead! You can say it as much as you want, you can talk her mother into it as much as you want, and you can have as many funeral services as you want, but that doesn't mean she's dead. And fuck yes, I blame you!" Jason exploded. Sonny's surprise was written all over his face.

"You were supposed to take care of her, Sonny. You promised me that you would take care of her - and what's the first thing I find when I get back here? She's been in an accident. Due to _your_ selfishness, _your_ stubbornness and _your_ stupidity! I don't want to think she's dead for two reasons. The first being that I don't ever want to think about not seeing her again. And the second, I don't want to hate you." Sonny's face became a mask of stone at Jason's words.

"You can think whatever you want, Jason," he said. Jason let out a bitter laugh.

"Damn right I can think whatever I want. I don't need your permission. In case you haven't noticed, I am able to think for myself without orders..." Jason said. Sonny looked up at him.

"That wasn't what I meant," he said, his eyes softening, referring to the permanent brain damage caused by the accident years before.

"I know that, Sonny. But let's be honest here, okay. Yes, I blame you. And if you admit it, I'm right in that blame. You didn't want to let Carly go, but you couldn't forgive her - meaning you couldn't be together despite the fact that you loved her and she loved you. You strung her along, Sonny," Jason said. Sonny laughed outright and pointed to Jason.

"I wouldn't start throwing that around, Jason. You... you did the exact same thing to her for years," he said. Jason's face stayed in the same emotionless state it usually was in.

"But I let her go, Sonny. I walked her down the aisle to marry you, and then I left so that the two of you could be happy. I let her go and I let her move on - as much as I hated it, I did it anyway. I don't think you can say the same," Jason said. Sonny shook his head.

"This whole mess is just typical Carly. She does things before she thinks… it always gets her in trouble," he said.

"So, is that what makes you feel better? It that how you get through this? Throw the blame back at Carly? This is _Carly's_ fault?" Jason said, astonished at his friend's way of thinking.

"Of course it's Carly's fault! I'm not saying I'm not to blame either, but everything she's done in the past has led up to this! She... she acts without thinking. She lets emotion... rule her actions. She's hurt everyone in the past - and now she's finally hurt herself!" he finished on a sigh. Jason was angry - very angry. But he couldn't do anything about it.

"Fuck you, Sonny. Fuck you and your blame. Carly's gone - but when's she's back, you'll be eating every one of those words because as much as she may have loved you, I don't think she'll forgive you. Ironic isn't it?" Jason asked before slamming his way out of the penthouse and out of the building.

_

* * *

_

Queen of Angels Church - the next day

Droves of people were filing into the church. It was a hastily put together service, but no one would have noticed. Jason stood at the back of the church watching everyone find his or her seats. Sonny sat up in the front with his father, Mike, by his side. Jason gritted his teeth as he thought about yesterday's conversation. Turning, he watched as the guards came in to pay their respects to Carly.

He shook his head as Dr. Tony Jones walked in, followed immediately by police commissioner Mac Scorpio, his family, and Detective Taggert. At least AJ had enough brain to know not to show up here - so far. Jason rolled his eyes as that thought came too soon. In walked Alan, Monica, and Edward Quartermaine. It was a wonder why they even showed up. Edward probably just wanted to make sure Carly was dead so they could get their hands on Michael.

Soft music was playing, and Jason had to try hard to keep the sneer off of his face. Carly would have hated this. In fact, should she walk in at this very moment, she'd laugh at everybody for even being here. Hypocrites. All of them. Only here to either prove her dead or to be splashed on a newspaper. Jason looked to the door, half expecting her to walk in - only to be completely disappointed, if not disgusted, when Alexis Davis walked in the door... and right to the front where Sonny was sitting. Friend and lawyer, my ass, Jason thought. Carly would have said the exact same thing. There was a tug at his heart when he thought that.

"Jason?" a voice asked. He turned to face Elizabeth.

"Liz," he acknowledged.

"Are you going to go sit?" she asked, almost hopefully. Jason shook his head.

"I don't think so. I'm probably going to stay right here," he said, indicating his spot near the door.

"Then I'll stay with you," she said, standing next to him. Jason sighed inwardly know that he wasn't going to be able to get rid of her as easily as he thought. Ever since her breakup with Lucky, she'd latched onto him when she first laid eyes on him. It was getting bothersome. He looked to his left and saw Bobbie enter on her brother Luke's arm. She saw him and smiled.

"Thanks for coming Jason," she said. "I know that this is as hard for you to accept as it is for me." Jason nodded as he hugged her. He knew they were burying a body today that was not Carly. Bobbie was on a roller coaster of emotions, and he couldn't blame her for going through with this.

"I don't accept it, though," he said. Bobbie hugged him tighter.

"Neither do I, not when I really sit down to think about it," she whispered into his ear before she released him. Their eyes met and he nodded to her.

"Come, sit by me Elizabeth," Bobbie said, taking the girl's hand and smiling at Jason. Elizabeth looked a bit bewildered, but shook it off as she smiled to Jason and followed Bobbie to the front of the church. More people came and surprisingly, the church was full. The service started, and Jason prepared himself to listen.

* * *

It seemed like eternity before the service was finally over and Jason sat in the front pew of the now empty church. His heart ached for some reason. It was probably because of the words Luke had said at the end before leading Bobbie out of the church.

_Caroline could handle anything. She was a survivor. She'd survived things any normal woman couldn't. I could say it was because she was a Spencer - it's true, in part. But more than anything, it was because she was Caroline - Carly. She was my niece, my blood, and part of me - the part glutton for punishment - wishes that I had treated her like that. Just like I'm sure there is a part of everyone in this room that wishes they had known her better as well. She was an amazing woman - a determined woman. But even survivors can only survive so much._

It had amazed Jason to no end that such a heartfelt speech could come from a man such as Luke. It was almost as crazy as he himself getting up and saying something as poetic. But then, Luke was full of surprises. Rubbing a hand over his face, he stood up. He knew in his heart that Carly wasn't gone - but there was always that niggling little piece of brain that told him she just might be. And at moments like this, that little piece of the brain took over. He looked at the picture of a smiling Carly sitting up front. He felt that ache again, and he reached up to touch his chest as if to rub it away.

Closing his eyes, he turned and walked down the aisle to the back of the church. People were still there, staying behind in order to talk to Bobbie or just to chat. Finding his way out the door, he had the urge to cry. But there were people there, watching him… waiting for him to crack. But Jason Morgan would not crack. Carly was alive, and he would find her. She had to be alive. Stoically walking past the onlookers outside the church, he found his way back to the cemetery as his brain warred with his heart. Carly had to be alive and he wasn't just trying to convince himself of that… right? After looking around, he knew he was alone and sat down on a bench. The brain took over and his heart began to break. Years of silence, anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness and love… it all came to this one moment. Jason Morgan put his face in his hands and let the tears run freely down his face.

_

* * *

_

Two nights later - The PC Hotel

It had taken him a full four hours of tossing and turning to finally get to sleep. He'd spent the entire day with Johnny, Francis and Reynaldo searching along side Jax's men. They'd found nothing, of course. They'd continued on until well past midnight - and when Jason's head hit the pillow later, his thoughts were consumed by Carly. He wanted so badly to find her and bring her home... especially after that moment of doubt in the cemetery. He couldn't let himself doubt. But, other people were. _Maybe the body pulled from the lake really was Carly._ Jason wanted to deny all of those thoughts, to yell at them that Carly was strong and alive, but after a week of searching and three days after the DNA discovery, people were finally starting to believe - especially after the funeral. Jason's eyes had just started to drift closed when his cell phone rang. Looking over at the clock, it said 4:54am. Frowning, he picked up the phone.

"Morgan," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Jason! It's Bobbie …" the woman said, obvious tears in her voice. Jason sat up and his heart almost stopped. _Michael…_

"Bobbie! What's wrong?" he asked, panic sitting on the edge of his brain.

"Jason..." she said. He felt sick to his stomach. "We were right. They found her..." she said softly.

_

* * *

_

General Hospital

Jason ran through the hospital doors, Sonny close on his heels. He'd arrived right after Jason did. Thankfully Bobbie had called Jason first and let him know which floor she was on. Sonny went immediately to the front desk to find out which way to go. Jason used his advantage and ran to the stairway. Skipping every other step he made his way to the third floor. He took a deep breath as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Looking to his left, he spotted Bobbie by the nurse's station. Walking slowly, his heart was pounding. Not from the exertion of running up the stairs, but from fear. What if it wasn't her? What if it was a mistake? He tried to glean information from Bobbie's stance, but her back was turned to him and he couldn't see the emotion on her face. She was leaning against the desk. Was it in relief? Or disappointment? Was she alive? Did she make it? Jason could feel the blood pounding in his head. As he stood only five feet from an unaware Bobbie, he turned to his right to see inside the ICU unit. His muscles, tight from the exhaustion, worry and frustration, suddenly failed to hold him up as he leaned hard against the station desk. Bobbie, hearing him, turned.

"Jason! Are you all right?" she asked, rushing over to him and helping him stand. She put a hand to his head to check. Jason put his hand over hers.

"I'm fine Bobbie..." he said, looking towards the room again. He heaved a heavy sigh as Bobbie's hand fell from his forehead and turned to look with him.

"We were so close to giving up," he said softly. Carly's mother turned to him, eyes full of relief and a smile gracing her tired face.

"I know. My daughter is a Spencer - we should have figured she'd survive somehow," she said, looking back to where her daughter was laying.

"You know, she'll never forgive us for almost thinking her dead," Jason said with a small smile and a shake of his head, eyes still peeled on the blond woman behind the glass. Bobbie let out a small chuckle.

"You're right. Either that or she'll be pissed she missed her own funeral..." Bobbie continued to laugh. Jason could only nod a relieved smile on his usually stoic face.

"C'mere you," Bobbie said with an outright laugh, pulling the man her daughter had loved so fiercely into a tight hug. Jason returned the embrace wholeheartedly.

"So, she's alive?" a voice asked. Bobbie and Jason stepped back to see a stricken Sonny standing a few feet away. Bobbie smiled and pointed to the window. She watched as her daughter's ex-husband curiously peeked through and his best friend glared daggers at him. Confused, she turned to Jason and touched his arm. When his blue eyes met her brown ones, she nodded her head to Sonny with question in her eyes. Jason shook his head. If Bobbie didn't know what happened, then it wasn't his place to tell her. He had to respect Carly's wishes.

"Can we see her at all?" Jason asked the redheaded woman softly. Bobbie turned her attention back to him with a small smile.

"Of course! It's after visiting hours, but I'm her mother as well as her nurse, so go on in… she'd want you in there anyways. Did she know you were back before - well - before?" Bobbie asked, not wanting to really acknowledge the accident. Jason shook his head.

"No, she didn't. I didn't come back until Johnny called with the DNA results," he said. Bobbie nodded.

"That's still something we're going to need to figure out. I don't know how that happened or why someone would want to do it," she said, looking back at her sleeping daughter.

"I think I have an idea as to whom… and probably why as well," Jason said, crossing his arms.

"AJ," Sonny stated as he walked over to the two. Jason nodded at the mention of his brother's name.

"My God! What AJ wouldn't do to get Michael back. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when I see him next. In fact, I'll give him a piece of my mind as soon as I get off my shift!" Bobbie exclaimed angrily. Sonny laid a hand on her arm.

"Don't do anything yet, Bobbie. We're not sure it was him - and if it was, we don't want to scare him off or give him a heads up that we know," he said. Jason gritted his teeth but kept silent. As much as he wanted to shoot his older brother, Jason knew Sonny was right. Bobbie nodded.

"I know," she said forlornly. "I just don't get how he can get away with stuff like this all the time. He's tortured Carly enough."

"He's a Quartermaine, Bobbie - he can get away with murder if the price is right," Sonny said. All of a sudden, Bobbie sucked in a breath as a thought came to her. Both men looked at her with concern.

"You don't think that he caused this accident, do you? I mean, he didn't have to drive her off the road himself, but he could get someone else to do it. Carly being dead would give him a good stake in a custody hearing," she said, walking up to the ICU window and crossing her arms and looking in on her helpless daughter.

"AJ is capable of anything. I think we learned this a long time ago," Jason said coldly. Bobbie laid a sympathetic hand on his arm. It was no secret how Jason Quartermaine became Jason Morgan. And it was no secret that the night AJ's drunken stupidity crashed the car into a tree had caused a bit of 'strain' between the now former brothers. Nor was it a secret that that strain had become out and out hatred of each other the night that Carly married AJ while she was still in love with Jason.

"I'm sorry, Jason," Bobbie said.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm certainly not. If I had stayed Jason Quartermaine, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I would have never met Carly. But that's not the point. We should really talk about this some other time, and somewhere else," he said.

"Good point there, Morgan," a voice said from behind them. They all turned to see the weary face of Luke Spencer. "Wouldn't want the Quartermaines to hear you plotting their demise in their home territory. Didn't know you were back in town to stay, Jason." Jason shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, well - I'm here where I'm needed," was all Jason said. Luke looked past the group into the hospital room where Carly lay.

"Same old, same old. Sweet Caroline gets herself into a pickle and you come a-calling to put the pieces back together again," he said eyeing Jason. Taking a good look at the woman hooked up to machines, he sighed. "Holy hell, girl. You look like shit. Well, we were close. Almost got rid of you for good."

"Luke," Bobbie hissed. Luke turned to his sister with a smirk.

"What, little sister? You know my hell-in-a-hand basket niece and I don't get along..." he said.

"Yeah, because you're both stubborn, pig-headed, spontaneous, act-before- you-think, devil-may-care -" Bobbie ranted. Luke put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her temple.

"Okay, okay, okay. I get your point. Caroline and I are a lot alike. I know that..." he said, smirking at her again. He turned back to the window. "I may not like her all that much, but she's still blood. And when someone messes with blood, they mess with me. You guys sure Junior did this?" he asked.

"Of course AJ did this. He's the only one with any benefit from Carly's 'death'," Sonny said.

"Well, I think a lot of people in this town would benefit from her 'death', but I know with you three, that's a point to be argued," he said. "How's business, boys?" Sonny and Jason looked at each other before shrugging - Sonny looking a bit uncomfortable.

"I don't think this was business. Roscoe threatened Carly back in December, but other than that, I haven't heard of anyone targeting Carly," Sonny said.

"Oh, look. It's the 'We Love Carly' gathering," a gravelly voice said from behind them. Bobbie rolled her eyes before she turned to face the white-haired old man.

"What do you want Edward?" she asked. Edward Quartermaine took in the four faces, his gaze lingering longer on Jason.

"Why, I'm here to give my support to that lovely young woman in there. I mean, little Michael would be so lost without her wonderful guidance," he said with a smarmy smile. Jason's jaw tightened as he stepped forward. Luke intercepted him before he could pound the sarcastic smile off his senile face.

"Whoa there, Tiger," Luke said. The brief look of trepidation on Edward's face was replaced with a frown.

"You keep that useless, brain-dead ruffian away from me," he said, pointing angrily at his grandson. Sonny just shook his head.

"Watch it there, Grandpa, or I'll let this 'ruffian' have his way with you. Then I'll get the leftovers," Luke said, shooting a glare at Edward. After huffing for a few seconds and glaring one more time, Edward finally turned and walked away.

"The day the Quartermaines care about something other than their power and their money is a day I'd like to call the Apocalypse," Luke grumbled as he patted Jason on the shoulder.

"I thought that was the day you'd welcome Carly into the family with open arms and a smile on your face," Jason said, a serious expression on his face until Luke burst out laughing. The smirks on the two men's faces were almost identical.

"It ranks right up there as a close second. Don't let it be said that you don't have a sense of humor, kid," Luke said happily slapping Jason on the back. "So, Barbara Jean. Is she going to be sprung from the joint anytime soon?" Luke asked his sister, sobering quickly and nodding towards Carly. Bobbie looked again to her daughter, along with Jason and Sonny.

"Well, the accident caused a lot of abrasions and contusions. There may be a slight concussion; a couple of broken ribs - but nothing else seems to be broken. And after God knows how many days of wandering, she's got a slight case of hypothermia. She hasn't regained consciousness since she was brought in, but that may be due to exhaustion and shock. So, we're going to watch her closely for the next few days. We're hoping she'll come out of it when she's ready," Bobbie said, ending on a sigh.

_

* * *

_

Four days later

Jason sat. Just like he had for the past four days. Bobbie had come in and out in her worry for both her daughter and the man planted in the chair by her bedside. He held Carly's hand and talked to her, asking, pleading for her to wake up. Every once in a while, he would slip in an order hoping she'd wake up and fight with him over him telling her what to do. But she didn't. She didn't move at all.

Sonny had stopped by a few times. It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable being there. Zander had come as well. A truce had been formed without him or Jason speaking. They both wanted Carly to get well, so they tolerated each other's presence for that sole purpose. But now, he was alone with her. He held onto her hand tighter and interlaced his fingers with her limp ones. He laid his head on the side of the bed, looking up at her.

"Come on Carly, you've got to wake up. Michael was here today. He was a little scared - but at least they took you off some of the machines. Otherwise he would have been more scared. He wants you to wake up. I want you to wake up. We _all_ want you to wake up," he said earnestly as he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it. He turned his head to look out the window. The sun was just going down for the night. He rested his head against his arm on the bed, keeping a hold of Carly's hand. After nights of restless sleep or no sleep, his eyelids felt heavy. Before he knew it, he was unconscious to the world.

* * *

Her eyes felt heavy... now that she thought about it more, her whole body felt heavy. Visions of water - lots of water - ran behind her closed eyelids. Opening them slowly, her eyes adjusted slowly to the dark in the room. She wasn't sure what happened or what led her to be where she was. Slowly, as she regained consciousness, memories flooded back.

Michael. Birthday card. Sonny, Alexis, Zander... the car... the lake...

She tried to bring her hand up to her face but realized that something had her hand. Looking down, she saw someone holding onto it, his face turned away. It wasn't Sonny, that's for sure - not that she wanted Sonny there holding her hand. All of a sudden, it hit her. She sucked in a breath when she recognized the short, light-brown hair. She would know it anywhere… _Jason!_ Tears came to her eyes. Jason was there. With her. Holding her hand. She reached her other hand over to caress the hand that held hers. She closed her eyes, relishing the fact that her best friend, the man that she would always love with her whole being, was in the same room as her. She opened her eyes again to find his beautiful blue eyes watching her as if he hadn't just been asleep.

"Carly?" his voice broke the silence. It was a beautiful voice. One she thought that she'd never hear again. She let it wash over her for a second before she reached her hand up to touch his cheek.

"Jase," she said hoarsely. He leaned into her hand, bringing his other hand up to hold hers there. Those two words - each other's names - were the only thing spoken for a long while.

"Are you okay?" Jason finally asked. Carly chuckled softly.

"I hurt all over, but other than that, I'm fine," she said. Jason smiled at her. He stood up and kissed her on the forehead gently, avoiding the bruising.

"Your mother's on the night shift tonight. I'd better go tell her you're awake," he said. When he made it to the door, he paused and looked back at her. She gave him a warm smile as she made herself more comfortable in bed. He smiled back before turning and making his way down the hall.

"Carly?" Bobbie called from the door. Jason watched as Carly's eyes opened and she smiled at her mother.

"Hi, Momma," she said softly. Bobbie rushed to her daughter and enveloped her in a gentle hug.

"Carly, Carly. You had us all worried, baby," she said, still in the hug.

"Yeah, uh huh," Carly said, pulling back. "Us all meaning you and Jason, right?" she finished with a wink in Jason's direction. Bobbie laughed as she looked back to where Jason stood.

"You'd be surprised. Luke was here. Lucky stopped by as well as Zander and Jax. The flowers over there are from Laura and Lulu. Michael visited and we had to drag him away from you. Sonny stops in every day. And not to put a damper on your well wishes - Edward stopped by as well as Monica and Alan," Bobbie listed off. Carly let out a large, bitter laugh causing both Jason and Bobbie to narrow their eyes in concern at her.

"Right… well-wishes. Luke was here to finally send off his troublesome, pain in the ass niece. Lucky, well, he probably couldn't care less. Zander, he came to check on me because of his obligation to Sonny. Jax was only concerned because he's invested a lot of money into me. Laura and Lulu sent flowers to make you feel better. Sonny stopped by to make sure I'm leaving his made-to-order life alone. And the Quartermaines? It wouldn't surprise me if they tried to kill me in my sleep in order to take Michael back to that hellhole of a three ring circus they call a home. And you two are here out of some sort of obligation to me - you know - the mother and the best friend..." she rambled off. Bobbie put a hand on her daughter's shoulder to stop her.

"Honey, that's not why they were here. They care about you. I mean, you make it hard to care about you sometimes, but that doesn't mean they don't," she consoled. A tear made its way down Carly's cheek. Bobbie reached up to wipe it away as Jason sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand.

"You know, the only thoughts that went through my head before the car hit the water were about how alone I felt and that I hope somebody would take care of Michael… not for me, but for him," she said, her eyes cast downward. They weren't the only thoughts she had - but Jason was sitting right there, holding her hand. She wasn't going to say anything to muck up that miracle.

"Michael wouldn't be happy without his mommy, Carly. He loves you and depends on you being there," Bobbie reassured her daughter. She reached over and poured a glass of water and handed it to Carly, who took it gratefully. Silence fell.

"Carly?" a voice said from the doorway. All three people on the bed looked up to see Sonny standing in the doorway. Carly turned her face away to hide the tears that came to her eyes. She remembered. She remembered everything. Bobbie looked at her daughter, and then looked at Sonny. After everything, Carly should have been ecstatic that her ex-husband was standing in the doorway like a remorseful child. She then peeked a look at Jason - his jaw had gone noticeably tighter in anger. Bobbie was now very curious.

"Can we talk, Carly?" Sonny asked in a pleading voice.

"No," was Carly's firm answer.

"Please, Carly?" he asked again.

"I don't want to see you," Carly said through clenched teeth.

"Carly, I'm trying to apologize," he said holding a hand out.

"You don't have anything to apologize for because I no longer care," she said, looking straight at him. Sonny sighed.

"Listen…" he started.

"No! _You_ listen! I am sick and tired of your little leash game. You think that you can keep me hanging on - until what? It's a better time for you? You've let me suffer enough? I don't know what your reasoning behind all of that was - and now I don't care. The second I saw you in bed with your little lawyer I knew that you weren't worth my time or effort anymore," Carly said. Bobbie's eyes went wide at the revelation that Sonny had slept with Alexis. The look on Jason's face told Bobbie that he already knew.

"Carly, I love you. We can work through this," Sonny said, looking at Carly earnestly.

"Get out," Carly said.

"But..." he started but was cut off by Carly throwing her glass of water towards the door.

"I said get out!" she almost screamed. Sonny looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded and turned to leave.

"Carly, honey. Are you okay?" Bobbie asked, taking her daughter's hand as she looked blankly out the door. A few stray tears made their way down her still pale cheek.

"It's over. It's finally done," she said quietly.

"Honey, Sonny loves you," Bobbie said, quickly looking at Jason out of the corner of her eye before looking back at Carly. She knew Jason loved Carly - and she knew Carly loved Jason. But Sonny loved Carly too - and, well, part of Carly loved Sonny as well. Triangles were never easy. Especially with the history the three of them shared.

"We're divorced, Mama. And we're going to stay that way. He can try to work as many things out as he needs to, but I'm not going to give on this. He couldn't give me the one thing, other than love, that I wanted most," she said. Bobbie tilted her head to the side a bit in question. Carly sighed.

"Respect, Mama. Just respect. I thought I had that when I saw him at my club opening, but I was obviously wrong," she said. Bobbie nodded sadly as she smoothed Carly's hair back from her forehead.

"I understand that, Carly. Now… I'm going to go get a doctor to check you out. With all the excitement, we seem to have forgotten the fact that you were in a major car accident and just woke up..." she said, smiling down at her daughter. Carly laughed. Carly made a shooing motion with her hands.

"Go, go. Do your motherly thing and bring a man in a white coat back with you," she said. Bobbie grinned at her daughter and Jason before she turned to go get a doctor. Carly looked at Jason, who smiled down at her.

"Hey there, stranger," he said, running a hand over her face, lingering slightly over the large bruise on her forehead. Carly smiled back as he touched her cheek.

"So. When did you get into town?" she asked, leaning into his hand.

"Well, I got this call a while ago, see? And they said that my best friend got herself into another mess - and - well, you know me. I couldn't resist coming to fix it for her," he said. Carly laughed.

"Don't you ever get sick of cleaning up my messes?" she asked. Jason moved closer to her as his hand slipped down to hold hers.

"Carly..." he didn't know what to say. Or, rather, he did - he just didn't know how to say it. Carly reached up with her free hand and ran a finger over his cheek.

"Don't worry about it, Jason. I get sick of my messes too," she said with a smile and settling back in the bed.

"It's not what you think, Carly. I don't get sick of helping you. Messes are a part of your life. It's what you do. You don't mean it a lot of the time, but they come with you anyways. It's who you are, Carly. And I accept that. Just like how you accept who I am. I know that… I know you. I wouldn't change a thing," he said. Carly nodded as she looked at him.

_God, Jase. That's why I love you,_ she thought as she pulled him into a hug. Jason closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. Carly did the same.

* * *

"Well, it looks like everything's going to be okay. No permanent damage. We're going to keep you here for the next day or two just in case, but I think after that, you'll be well enough to be let loose," Dr. Tony Jones proclaimed after looking Carly over. It was almost 6 o'clock in the morning and Jason had to hold back a yawn. He watched the interaction between doctor, nurse, and patient. If any of them were uncomfortable at the situation, none of them showed it. It wasn't often that the former husband of Ms. Bobbie Spencer was in the same room as the very woman who broke up the marriage in the first place. And from the look of it, Dr. Jones just looked grateful that his former stepdaughter/fiancée was okay.

"That sounds great, Tony," Bobbie said as she smoothed the hair back from her daughter's forehead.

"What about my memory, Tony?" Carly asked, clutching her mother's hand. Dr. Jones looked down at the chart in his hands.

"Well, it seems that you have only had trouble with the short term memory - and the fact that you really have no memory of the events after the accident is really no surprise to any of us. It was a traumatic experience - you'll remember when you are ready to, Carly. Don't worry about it," he reassured her. Carly nodded.

"Okay, so, I'm not going to have problems in my head or anything, right?" she asked.

"No more so than you already have, Carly," Jason said from beside her. Carly looked over at him with narrowed eyes.

"Who are you and what have you done to Jason Morgan?" she asked at his teasing statement. Jason shrugged before he leaned down and kissed her temple.

"Hey, I'm entitled," he said. Tony smiled at both of them.

"Like I said before - no permanent damage. You can rest easy, Carly," he said before he left the room. Carly let out a sigh.

"Well, at least I'm not going to be any crazier than normal," she said. Bobbie let out a laugh as she squeezed Carly's hand.

"We wouldn't have you any other way," she said with love. Carly let out a snort.

"Riiiight," she said.

"Well, daughter of mine - I'm going to do my early morning rounds before I can clock out. Then, I'm going to feed your son breakfast and bring him to visit his mother. He's been wanting to see you again," Bobbie said.

"It'll be a surprise for him to see you're awake," Jason said to Carly. Carly just smiled.

"I feel like I haven't seen him in forever," she said as she settled back into the bed.

"You should probably get some sleep. You know, prepare yourself for Michael. He's going to want to tell you everything later..." Jason said. Carly reached out and took his hand.

"You should get some sleep too. He's going to want to tell you everything as well," she said on a slight yawn.

"Don't worry about me," he said while standing up. He walked towards the door and shut off the light. Carly felt the panic rise in her.

"Are you leaving?" she asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Jason crossed the room and sat back down in the chair next to the bed.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said as he took her hand. She tugged his hand until he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good. Then you can get some sleep, too," she said pulling him down beside her on the bed.

"Carly…" he protested as she moved over to make room for him.

"Shut up, Jason. You look like the walking dead - probably worse than I do because you haven't had unconsciousness helping you out some. Now lie down and stop coming up with excuses to sit in that God-awful chair you know you don't want to sit in," she said as she arranged to covers around his legs. Giving in, he helped Carly get situated on her side as she curled into him. He followed suit as he wrapped an arm over her waist and watched her struggle to stay awake.

"Go to sleep, Carly," he ordered.

"Ordering me around again - man, you must have missed me," she said on a yawn. "I just want to make sure you don't escape."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he reassured for what seemed like the millionth time.

"You'd better not. And as for your orders - you can stick them where…" she started to retort until he put his hand over her mouth.

"Sleep?" he asked rather than ordered. She narrowed her eyes at him before she nodded. She closed her eyes and the two of them settled into a comfortable silence. As Carly's breath evened out into sleep, Jason tightened his arms around her, holding her closer. Closing his eyes, he thanked every lucky star and Supreme Being he could that she was alive and okay. He reached up and brushed a stray hair from her cheek causing her to smile slightly in her sleep.

He really didn't know how he walked away from her time and time again. Or maybe he did. It was because he knew that he could always come back and that she would always be there. Sitting in the dark, holding her… he knew that he'd taken her for granted. Especially during the whole Robin fiasco. The problem was, he thought he'd loved Robin. At least that's what Robin kept telling him. That and that his feelings for Carly were wrong. If only he'd realized earlier that Carly was a part of him, maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they did. Cutting Carly out of his life was like cutting a piece of himself out. It had taken her close call with death for that point to finally hit home.

All the time he was traveling, it took every ounce of his will to keep from driving right back to Port Charles. To run back to Carly and Michael - to make them his family. But, as usual, he was too little too late. Things had finally started to look up for him and Carly when Elizabeth and Sonny shot everything to hell. And instead of staying to fight for Carly and their feelings for each other, he left. And when he came back - well, he had been an idiot to think Carly and Sonny would last. So, Jason gave her to him. And ran away again instead of staying to actually see if Carly was happy. So many things happened between that moment and where they were now. But he was sure of one thing at least. Laying his head down next to hers, feeling her breath on his cheek, Jason knew that he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going anywhere that she wasn't. He was here to stay.

* * *


	3. Part II

_Part II_

_

* * *

_

Two weeks later

"Well, well, well, Caroline! You've finally graced my pride and joy with your presence," Luke called from behind the bar of Luke's. Carly snorted as she made her way to the stools in front of him. It had taken awhile for all the stiffness to recede and the bruises to fade a little bit, but Carly had not let it or anything else hold her down.

"Pride and joy my…" Carly started.

"Oh look, you've brought your thug with you!" Luke interrupted when he saw Jason walk in the doors. Carly rolled her eyes.

"He's not my thug and he has a name. Manners would require you to use it - but wait - you don't have any. Manners, that is… or a brain," Carly said as Jason sat down next to her. Luke put a hand over his heart.

"Your barbs wound me, Caroline," he said, putting on a fake pout. Carly rolled her eyes.

"Whatever _Uncle_ Luke," she said, drawing out the 'uncle' for Luke's benefit.

"May I ask why you've come here? I figure the sooner I get you talking, the sooner I don't have to look at you," he said, wiping a glass with a towel. Carly frowned.

"Actually, I came to ask a favor," she said, looking over at Jason. He nodded in support. Luke laughed loudly as he put the glass down and looked at his blond barracuda of a niece.

"And what, pray tell, can good old Uncky Luke do for poor wittle Caroline?" he asked as if he were talking to a second grader. Carly cleared her throat, uncomfortable, as she shifted in her seat.

"Well, I kind of need a … job. It's just to get me started," she added quickly at the end. Luke just looked at her for a few seconds before standing straight from leaning on the bar.

"And I can help … how?" he asked.

"Well, I was hoping maybe I could help you out here. I can bartend - and I'm pretty good with numbers, I could do the books. I can't cook very well - but I've heard that's a Spencer trait ," she said.

"However do you come by that? I'm a great cook," Luke said.

"Luke, you burn _cereal_ … and you don't have to cook it," Bobbie's voice said just as Jason choked out a 'bull shit'.

"Barbara Jean! Of all the turncoats, I never expected you! And that time in Texas was just a fluke. It was hot out," Luke said, looking at his little sister as she walked up to the bar. Bobbie shook her head.

"Well, are you going to answer Carly's request?" she asked. Luke looked back at Carly again.

"Why can't you hire her at Kelly's?" he asked. Bobbie shrugged her shoulders.

"I will if she asks me. Carly came to you first," she said. Uncharacteristically touched by his sister's comment, he relented.

"Fine. I need a bartender for the weekend. Claude's taking some God-forsaken vacation. If you handle it okay, then I'll hire you – but not permanently," he said gruffly. Carly smiled as she stood up.

"What time do you want me here?" she asked. Luke waved a hand at her as he poured himself a shot of tequila.

"Come at four tomorrow. I'll give you a quick lesson on how things work before things get heavy," he said before taking his drink. Carly nodded.

"Great," she said. She turned to go but then turned back to Luke. "Can I ask why you're helping me out?" Luke shrugged.

"Caroline, you're family. Spencers stick together. You've had a rough time of it lately and, well, I don't hate you… much," he said. Carly's eyes watered at his words. Luke didn't hate her… much. What was the world coming to? It was the kindest thing the man had ever said to her and she didn't know what to say back. A tear found its way out of the corner of her eye and she reached up to wipe it away before turning and running out of the bar. Bobbie, Jason and Luke all watched with different expressions. Luke's held confusion, Bobbie's held concern and Jason's held understanding.

"What the hell was that all about?" Luke bellowed as Jason turned back to the bar and leaned his elbows on the clean surface.

"I should go check on her," Bobbie said.

"She'll be fine, Bobbie," was all Jason said. The Spencer siblings both looked at Jason.

"Okay - you are the resident Carly expert. What just happened? Why was she so upset? What did I say?" Luke asked. Jason just looked at him for a second, much to Luke's annoyance.

"Well - you just told her you didn't hate her. Which means you care - which, ultimately, means you accept her as a part of your family. You not only caught her off guard, but you just made what she's been working so hard for the past few years become a reality, not just a dream," he explained, the expression on his face never changing. Bobbie nodded and wiped a tear from her eye.

"That's right. All she's ever really wanted was a family," she said with a smile. Jason nodded as he took a drink of the beer Luke placed in front of him.

"Well, I honestly don't know what's more shocking. The fact that you understand that freak of nature more than any human being possibly will - or that you just pieced together more sentences than I've ever heard come out of your mouth," Luke said with a smirk in Jason's direction. Bobbie slapped her brother's arm.

"Could you maybe tone down the sarcasm?" she asked. Luke grinned again.

"Naaaaah. That would make it too easy on everybody," he said. Bobbie rolled her eyes.

"Cause Lord knows it's a trial just to put up with you when you're _not_ saying anything," she said.

"You know you love your brother, lil' sis," Luke said with a wink at Bobbie.

"Yep. Just like you know you love your niece," she shot back.

"Yeah, well - somebody, somewhere is having a heart attack for me just thinking that I might," Luke said shaking his head.

"Well, I should probably head home. Lucas is coming home from his friend's house in a few hours. He'll want dinner," she said.

"At least one Spencer was spared the cooking curse," Jason said. Luke chuckled as Bobbie smiled and rubbed Jason's shoulder.

"You're welcome to join us, Jason. Carly's bringing Michael over later…" she said.

"Thanks for the offer, Bobbie, but I've got some business things to straighten out later tonight," he said. Bobbie nodded.

"Another time then. Don't be a stranger, okay?" she said. Jason nodded as the redhead gave him a hug.

"Bye, little sister," Luke said.

"Talk to you later, Luke," she said as she walked out. Luke watched Jason for a few seconds before shaking his head.

"What my sister and her delinquent daughter see in you, I'll never know," he said.

"It's the charm. I have a deep, untapped well of it…" Jason replied, taking another sip of his beer. Luke laughed.

"You are just full of the jokes tonight, aren't you?" he asked. Jason shrugged.

"What can I say? It's a talent," he said. Luke shook his head.

"So this is what a light-hearted Jason Morgan looks like," Luke said, noting the subtle change in the man's demeanor. Jason Morgan was always known for his seemingly emotionless state, his ruthless 'business' dealings, and his cut and dry lifestyle. The man was never known to smile, laugh or joke around.

"Carly's alive and healthy… Michael is pretty much out of the Quartermaine clutches for good. I guess you can say that makes me 'light-hearted'," Jason said.

"It's good to see you back again and helping her out," Luke said, still putting away his glass stash.

"Well, she's going through a rough spot right now. She needs all the friends she can get," Jason said. Luke raised an eyebrow at the word 'friends'. It was no secret that darling Caroline would give her right arm to be a permanent fixture in Jason's life. And with all that Jason's done for her in the past, it was no secret to everyone else on what Carly meant to Jason.

"Yeah - a divorce will do that to you. Now, I don't get the whole job thing. She has the club. Why would she want to work here?" Luke asked. Jason sighed as he ran a hand over his face.

"Jax handed over the management position to Skye," he said. Luke slammed the glass he was putting away down on the counter.

"Why the _hell_ would he do that!? That woman is nothing but a redheaded viper dressed up in Quartermaine airs…" he bellowed. Jason nodded in agreement at the description of his stepsister.

"He used the fact that Carly was gone for weeks against her and asked her to resign. Something got his pants in a twist – I think it may have been the rumors that she was going to try and buy him out after the divorce. It made him a little bitter, I guess. She couldn't contest his decision since he holds the mortgage for Club 101," he said.

"I thought Jax was her friend! And that club was her life's work! He knows that! She put blood and sweat into that thing to make sure it was a success, and he just tore that out from under her!" Luke yelled.

"I know that, Luke. I've got Alexis looking at things. Carly'll get her club back, even if I have to buy it to do it," Jason said, wincing at the mention of Alexis. Luke was fuming.

"If you need help, you've got mine," he told the younger man.

"Thanks, Luke. I don't plan on breaking Jax's kneecaps just yet, but I appreciate your offer," Jason said with a hint of a smirk.

"Well, that wasn't what I had in mind - but that scenario is looking better and better," Luke said, rubbing his chin. Jason laughed, taking Luke off guard.

"Man! I've got to get used to this 'new' you," Luke joked. Jason smirked outright as he finished his drink and set the empty bottle down.

"Maybe it's not new," he replied.

"God forbid! If it were new, then maybe _that_ would be the sign of the apocalypse…" Luke grumbled.

"I should probably get going," Jason said.

"Yeah, yeah. Sonny's blown the whistle. So, when are you going to tell my niece you love her?" Luke asked nonchalantly. Jason head snapped around to look at Luke.

"Luke…" he started before the older man waved him off.

"Don't bother denying it, Morgan. I know it, you know it, I know you know it, and you know I know you know it. The question is: what are you going to do about it?"

"It's difficult right now. She's in the middle of divorcing Sonny, and she loved him. It's going to be hard on her. I don't need to be in between them making things harder. When things quiet down again …" Jason tried to reason before Luke barked out a laugh.

"Quiet?! When have things _ever_ been quiet around Caroline? Sure she loved Corinthos… but not like she loved – _loves_ - you. It's in the girl's eyes every time she looks at you. You know why she married him. It was because you wanted her to. You know why she tried to be happy. It was because you wanted her to. You know why she tried to build a life - a family - with Corinthos. It was because she thought you wanted her to. You left, Morgan. There was nothing else for her to do. You didn't give her a choice. So, now, you're back and your friend fucked up royally… now she's on her own again. She's always loved you - and we all know that when Caroline loves, it's forever. The questions is, are you going to be there to help her piece her life back together knowing that if you ask, she'd go to the ends of the earth to be with you? Or are you going to stand back, being miserable in love with her and her being miserable in love with you, and let another Corinthos into her life? Another man to use her, disrespect her, and tear her apart again?" Luke asked. It took Jason a few seconds to get used to this tirade – others would call it advice – on love coming from the one and only Luke Spencer. But when he did, Jason listened to what the man was saying…

_

* * *

_

Carly's house

Carly sat in the chair looking out the back window. It was one of her favorite places to sit, especially on a clear night. The moon was gorgeous and if a person really looked, they could catch some of the constellations. It was a quiet night since Michael insisted that he stay over at Grandma Bobbie's for the night. Carly chuckled to herself as she stood up. If her little boy didn't hero worship his Uncle Lucas the way he did, Carly would begin to wonder if her baby was growing up on her and finding his mother 'un-cool'. Finding her way over to the stereo system, she flipped through some of her CD's. Picking no specific one in particular, she took it out and put it in the player. Pushing play, she walked back over to the window as the strains of music filled the house. Instead of sitting back down, she leaned against the windowsill and hugged herself.

Things were so crazy. She didn't know what to do. Scott Baldwin had called her earlier telling her that Sonny had attempted to put a stop on the divorce papers. After a full ten minute rant on Carly's part, Scott had assured her that no matter how much money Sonny flashed around, there was no way he could rescind the papers without Carly's approval. Carly's response to Scott's following question? No fucking way. If Sonny thought that Carly was going to stay married to him, then he had another thing coming. Now, all she had to do was wait for the finalized papers - and she could hardly wait.

It was hard for her to swallow that she'd failed at her second marriage - not that there should have been a first one… or a second one for that matter. _Why?_ Why hadn't she trusted Jason in the beginning? Why couldn't she just let him work things out so that they could have been together - Jason, her and Michael - as a family? But no, she had to plan… she had to try to fix things herself. When was she going to learn that she couldn't fix things herself, no matter how much she tried? She just got herself into deeper messes. And that was why the Quartermaines were constantly after Michael. That was why everyone in Port Chuck hated her. It was why she'd 'betrayed' Sonny to the Feds… it was why she and Jason weren't together. That was probably the hardest of all to swallow. It was her fault that Jason left - it was her fault that he didn't love her. He was right when he's said before he'd left that she'd ruin him. Because, if she were honest with herself, she would. She couldn't even keep from ruining herself! Laying her forehead in her hand, she sighed. There was nothing she could do about the past. She had to move on. She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear the knock on the door, or the door open.

He heard the music, but no one was answering. Worried, he tried the door. He was even more worried when the door opened easily.

"Carly?" he called out. No answer. He followed the music to the back room. The door was slightly ajar, so he knocked as he stepped through it. Jason stopped and stood in the doorway, watching Carly from across the room. She seemed to be in her own little world. Shutting the door behind him, he crossed the room quietly. Her eyes were closed, and she looked to be in pain. Not physical… emotional. He gently touched her shoulder, and somehow knowing that it was Jason, she curled into him, letting his arms encircle her. Jason sighed as he brought a hand up to caress the back of her head as she leaned against his shoulder. It was a well known position to both of them… a comforting one as well. Carly's arms tightened around his waist as she shifted her head so that her cheek rested against the cool leather of his jacket. She willed the tears to not fall as the lyrics of the soft, sad love song playing started to hit her.

He could tell she was fighting tears. He always knew things like that. It was part of their connection. Loosening his hold on her, he used one of his hands and tipped her chin up. He smiled gently at her as he leaned his forehead against hers. Yet another familiar, comforting position they'd often found themselves in before. Her hands automatically found their way around his neck, then down to caress his cheeks, then to touch his chin. Jason's hands came up so he could run his thumbs over her cheeks. He could kiss her. They were close enough where just one slight move would allow their lips to touch. He wanted to… part of him even needed to. But he knew he couldn't. It would lead to a conversation that neither one of them was ready for. And right now, all he wanted to do was hold her and be near her. No, the kiss would have to wait. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the contact.

"Jase?" her voice called to him. Blue eyes met as he looked at her. Carly smiled almost shyly up at him. He didn't even have to ask.

"Thank you," was all she said. He let out a quick breath as she leaned up and kissed his cheek. The song ended as she stepped back from him and went to turn the stereo off. Silence fell over the house as she made her way back to where Jason was looking out the window. She took her place next to him. After a few seconds, he reached over and took her hand. The movement didn't surprise Carly - but it made her heart jump a bit. Any contact with him made her heart do somersaults. She looked over at him as he raised her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Talk to me, Carly," was all he said, looking at her. She sighed as she gently took her hand out of his and hugged herself.

"About what, Jason?" she asked as she looked out the window.

"About what's wrong, or what you're feeling. You need to talk about it," he said, stepping closer to her. She chuckled softly.

"Dr. Jason giving advice on the sorrows of the mind. You do remember that I'm officially crazy, right?" she asked, a fine eyebrow arching. Jason smiled as he shook his head at the point Carly liked to make.

"What's wrong, Carly?" he asked again, his face sobering.

"It's just that things are so … My life is so … The thing is, I can't even explain it. I should be happy that I'm alive, that my son is healthy, my best friend is back, my mother and I have the relationship I've always wanted, I have a job, a great house… _used_ to have a great car," she ended on a chuckle. Jason reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"But?" he asked. Carly sighed as she stepped forward and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her.

"But, the man I _thought_ I loved loves me back… even though he slept with his lawyer. What a great retainer bonus. Michael needs to resolve to himself somehow that his mommy failed him yet again and that Uncle Sonny won't ever be Daddy. Everyone in Port Chuck, for the most part, still hates my guts even thought I've tried so hard to change. I still have the Quartermaines hanging over my shoulder at every turn … and … well…" she rambled off before thinking. _I'm still in love with my best friend._

"Well, what?" Jason asked. Carly shrugged.

"Nothing," she said. "I guess I couldn't think of anything else to say."

"Carly, things don't have to be so hard. Sonny _does _love you. I'm sure you could work things out if you wanted," Jason said, the words feeling like sawdust in his mouth as he played devil's advocate yet again. Carly leaned back to look up at him.

"The thing is, I don't _want_ to work things out. I said it before… I _thought_ I loved Sonny in the forever, till-death-do-us-part way. But I guess I just convinced myself I did. He and I are too alike in some areas and too different in others. We have no middle ground. We destroy others before we destroy ourselves, and that's why we couldn't work," she said. Jason nodded almost imperceptibly as Luke's words were coming out in Carly's voice.

"But Carly…"

"Sonny and I are done, Jason. There's no going back. I can't wait around for him to forgive me, because it may never come. And if it does, you know I'll do something stupid like I always do and he'll throw me out and then go sleep with his dentist…" Carly said bitterly. "To think that I used to be the one that got hurt and went to find someone to sleep with." After she said that, she immediately winced as she thought of Zander. That had been stupid of her. She'd just been trying to find another Jason. Jason read the look on her face.

"Zander is your friend, Carly. And he knows that. If he's a good friend, Carly, maybe you should go talk to him. I know that him hurting is hurting you." Carly sighed.

"I know Zander is my friend. And I'm sorry for sticking him in the middle of everything. Once things get figured out a little more, I'll find the courage to go make things right with him. I just have other things right now that are more important," Carly said. Jason nodded.

"I hear that Sonny tried to put a stop on the divorce papers," Jason said as led the two of them over to the couch. He sat down, and Carly curled herself into one of the corners.

"Yeah, he did. And I really don't care. There's nothing left for us. It's funny, you know?" she asked. Jason smiled.

"What's funny?" he asked. Carly looked at him.

"These past few years, he's forgiven Brenda over and over and over for wearing that wire. He's wished her back so many times that I lost count. No matter how much I tried, I could never live up to her ghost," Carly said. _Just like I could never live up to Robin's saintly ghost._

"Carly, maybe Sonny's learned his lesson this time. He lost Brenda and never got the chance to make it work with her – to forgive her. He almost lost you and now he has that chance he never thought he would ever have," Jason tried to support his other best friend. Carly shook her head.

"No, Jason. He can forgive me all he wants. But this is over. You and I both know that with the crap I pull, Sonny and I would be right back in the thick of things, at each other's throats. I can't live like that - _Michael_ can't live like that. It's better that this ends now," she said. Jason reached over and pulled her to his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder with a sigh.

"Tell me something, Jason," she muttered. Jason nodded his head for her to continue. "Sonny's forgiveness costs our marriage, our love, my sanity…" Jason kept silent, but nodded once in understanding. Carly's head rose from where it lay and her sad brown eyes met his blue ones.

"What's my forgiveness worth?" At her words, Jason's mind went to Alexis and Sonny, to the endless black hole that Sonny had kept Carly in for months concerning their marriage. Jason couldn't think of a response to her heartfelt, if not heartbreaking, question. When Jason remained silent, Carly let her head drop back to his shoulder, resigned.

* * *

A pair of interested eyes watched as a little redheaded boy made his way into the house along side a young woman. Those same eyes became even more interested when they saw Jason Morgan emerge from the door ten minutes later. The mobster embraced the young boy and kissed Carly's cheek, almost lingeringly, before leaving. The man standing in the dark, behind the bushes, smirked. An interesting turn of events. He took out a phone and dialed a number.

"I thought you said that she was married to Corinthos," he said without preamble when the other person picked up.

"She is… but they're divorcing," the voice answered.

"What about Morgan?" he asked.

"They're good friends," was the answer.

"Good. The divorce causes problems, but at least with Morgan, there's still a connection. We'll have to alter our plans, but not abandon them altogether. In fact, this may work out better," he said into the phone before hanging up.

_

* * *

_

The next day

"Sonny?" Carly timidly asked as she opened the penthouse door. She looked around the room to find it empty. "Sonny, are you here?"

"Carly …" Sonny greeted as he walked down the stairs. She looked up at him with a small smile.

"Hi," she said. Sonny watched her warily.

"What are you doing here, Carly?" he asked. The two hadn't seen each other since the confrontation at the hospital.

"Well, Johnny let me in and … well, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted at the hospital. Well, no, not apologize, I guess. Just explain," she said. Sonny let out a breath as he found his way to the couch and sat down.

"Okay, explain," he said, opening his arms wide to show her she had his attention. Carly nodded as she sat on the edge of the nearest chair.

"I was angry, Sonny. For the most part, I still am. You say you want to work things out, but to be totally honest, I don't. Not anymore … not after everything," she said, resigned to her decision. Sonny was silent, but he didn't look angry. Finally, he looked at her.

"What do you want to do, Carly?" he asked. Carly stood up and went to sit next to him. She took his hand in hers and looked at him earnestly.

"Sonny, we started this marriage hating each other. I don't want to end it the same way. I love you, I really do. I don't want you to think that I don't, but when we're together, we do nothing but make each other miserable. I can love you and not be married to you. I'm going to ask you if you can do the same thing," she said. Sonny squeezed her hand before looking up at her. His free hand came up to touch her cheek.

"I thought I lost you Carly. I thought I lost you and you would never know just how much I do love you," he said. Carly smiled and placed her free hand over his.

"I know you do, Sonny. And if the past month has taught me anything at all, it taught me to appreciate all of the people that do care about me. Sonny, if we stay married, you will end up hating me and I will end up hating you. I do things that drive you crazy, and your lack of understanding drives me crazy. You deserve someone that can make you happy … that can understand you, help you, and live with you the way you are. We both wanted each other to change too much without having to change ourselves," Carly said, her eyes watering as she watched Sonny nod sadly.

"You deserve someone like … Alexis," Carly continued, swallowing the lump in her throat at the mention of the lawyer. Sonny looked over at her and noted the sincerity etched on her face. She was being serious, not trying to rub it in his face. He stood up and she followed, her hand still held in his as they walked to the door. She was about to let go when Sonny tightened his grip and pulled her close. He cupped her face and gently kissed her, only making it more passionate when her arms wrapped loosely around his waist. They both knew… this was their last kiss as husband and wife. It was full of the love and respect that they both wished they could have redeemed while living together, sleeping together… being together. They pulled back, their foreheads resting against each other. Carly smiled as she finally stood back from him.

"It will be okay, Sonny," she said honestly before turning to open the door. As she opened the door, she looked back to find him smiling – truly smiling – at her.

"Yeah, it will be," he agreed. She grinned back.

"I'll bring Michael by occasionally. He'll want to see his Uncle Sonny," she said. And then, she left.

* * *

"No, no, no, Caroline! You have to build it! You don't just spit the Guinness in a glass, darlin'," Luke said. Carly rolled her eyes.

"For God's sake, Luke! It's a damn Guinness! I don't drink the fancy stuff and chances are most of your exclusive clientele won't either," Carly said as she pointed to the lone scary man sitting at the bar. He had a total of five teeth. "It's beer. If they want it, they'll drink it." Luke rolled his eyes.

"May the good Lord help us if a tour bus of Irish natives come a-Riverdancing in," he said hopping over to her in a grotesque imitation of a jig. Carly glared at him as she slammed a glass of whiskey down in front of him and continued to pour herself one.

"Here's to a beautiful, harmonious, peaceful working relationship," she said sarcastically as she knocked her glass into his and downed the alcohol in one drink. Luke followed her lead at a slower pace, looking at her out of the corner of his eye warily.

"Beautiful, harmonious, peaceful… what a load of… well, at least you can't mess up a whiskey," he said as he set the empty glass down on the bar.

The past few hours had been relatively uneventful. The dinner hour had come and gone, the regulars were starting to arrive, and Tommy Toothless still sat at the end of the bar guzzling down alcohol like he had no liver.

"Hey stranger," a voice called Carly out of her reverie. She looked up to see Jason pulling a stool up to the bar. She smiled warmly and pulled out a bottle of his favorite beer.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" she asked as she set the bottle in front of him. He grinned.

"I thought I would stop by and see if I could weasel a free beer from the bartender," he said before he took a drink. Carly just huffed.

"That didn't take much weaseling," she commented. He just grinned again.

"Well, well... What a surprise to see you here Morgan," Luke said, obviously not surprised.

"Luke," Jason greeted. The three chatted amiably for a few minutes, but Carly drew herself up when Sonny walked in the door. He held an envelope in his hand and his eyes searched out Jason.

"Caroline, I think table six needs your assistance," Luke told his niece when he noticed the look on his former associate's face. Carly picked up a pencil and muttered something about stupid, narcissistic, white-haired bar owners. Jason and Luke both watched her walk away before they turned to Sonny.

"What's up, Skipper?" Luke asked. Sonny's eyebrow rose as he unfolded the envelope he held and dumped out a pile of pictures.

"These came with my mail. I think we may have a problem," he said as the other two men picked up a photo. They were all of Carly – and they were all of Carly while she was at home. She was being watched. There were some of her with Michael, some of her downstairs by herself – but most of them were taken through her bedroom window – while she was sleeping. Luke let out a string of curse words both in English and another language. Jason's eyes had gone ice cold and Sonny had to keep his hand from shaking as he held one of the pictures in front of him.

"This is sick," Luke said as he quickly took all of the pictures on the counter and stuffed them back into the envelope. He reached out and none-too-gently snatched back the photos Sonny and Jason were holding and put them back as well. He set the envelope behind the bar and out of sight. Setting a glass in front of Sonny, Luke poured the man a brandy. And not being a picky man, he poured himself a hard-hitting bourbon.

"Cheers to all the sickos and whack jobs out there," he muttered as he raised his glass and then downed it.

"Where do you think this came from?" Jason asked his boss, trying hard not to think about how vulnerable Carly was in that house by herself. Sonny shrugged his shoulders as he took a drink from his complementary alcohol.

"No clue. This is obviously a warning. Against what? I have no idea," Sonny said. All thoughts were interrupted as Carly made her way back to where they stood.

"Anything else, oh Exalted One?" Carly asked, her eyes locking on Luke's. The man shifted uncomfortably

"Uhhh … maybe you should go check on Mikey, Caroline," Luke said, looking between Sonny and Jason. Carly huffed.

"Michael is fine. He's with Bobbie over at Kelly's until I finish here," she said. All three men looked over at her.

"Good, your finished," Luke said. Carly made a face.

"I thought my shift was until eleven. That's in another two hours," she said as she picked up a bar rag. Her agitation at the tone of the conversation came across clearly as she scrubbed the countertop.

"It wasn't a request, Carly," Sonny said. Carly threw the rag down and crossed her arms as she let out a humorless laugh.

"So Luke's your lackey now? How did that come about, Sonny?" she asked. Jason took her arm, and she whipped it out of his grip.

"I'll walk Carly over to Kelly's, then I'll be back," Jason said before taking Carly's arm again. She looked up at him with a frown before whipping her arm out again.

"No one's walking me anywhere," she said stubbornly.

"Carly …" Sonny started, his temper rising.

"No, Sonny! If this has anything to do with Michael, I have every right to be here and know what's going on with my son. Didn't we learn our lesson the last time, Sonny, about what happens when you leave me out of the loop?" she asked sarcastically. Luke winced at Carly's reference to the Fed incident.

"This isn't about Michael, Carly!" Sonny bellowed, causing Carly to take a step back, into Jason. His arm went around her to steady her. "Now, go to Kelly's where Bobbie and Michael are. We have things to do here, and you shouldn't be here." Carly had to give him credit. Sonny had reined in his temper enough to make the last part sound like he was actually really concerned about her.

"Fine. Whatever," she said, turning around and sidestepping Jason to find the door. She made it barely ten feet outside when a hand grabbed her arm.

"Carly …" Jason's voice said.

"God damn it! What is it with the men in my life and their fascination with ordering me around?!" she cried as she continued walking. Jason pulled her back and she landed flush against his body. "I'm going to Kelly's. Why don't you let me go? I'm listening, okay? I'm following your orders like a little dog. What more do you want?" she asked softly, looking down at the ground.

"I'm walking you to Kelly's. And then I'm going to make sure that you, Michael, and Bobbie get back to the Brownstone all right," he said. Carly looked up at him and caught a worried look in his eyes before he masked it over. She reached up and touched his cheek.

"What's going on, Jason?" she asked, her anger abating. He looked up and around at their surroundings. When he looked back down at her after a few moments of silence, she was smiling softly at him. She nodded her head almost imperceptibly in understanding.

"Well… are you going to walk with me?" she asked. He nodded as they continued on. They walked shoulder to shoulder, in complete silence.

"Carly…" Jason started softly after a few blocks.

"I know, Jason. I know. You can't tell me anything for my own …" she stopped suddenly. Jason looked over at her as they continued walking.

"What's wrong?" he whispered. She inched a bit closer to Jason.

"Someone's following us," she said. He took her hand and pulled her closer to him.

"How?" he asked. She didn't even bother to misunderstand.

"I saw his reflection in the window of the store we just walked by," she said. Jason nodded.

"Pretend like we didn't see him," was all he said.

"He's been following us since Luke's, I saw him… I just didn't catch on until now," she said, mentally berating herself for not being more aware. It was the same thing Jason had going through his head as well. They continued walking as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Jason stiffened next to Carly, causing her to grip his hand tighter.

"What?" she whispered. He leaned over to kiss the side of her head.

"There's more than one. They're trying to stay out of sight about 20 yards back," he whispered against her hair. She nodded.

"What are we going to do?" she asked. Jason took her hand and wrapped it around his waist. Her eyes went wide as she felt his gun tucked near the small of his back.

"Feel that?" he asked. Carly nodded.

"I can't make any sudden movements toward it, otherwise they'll know I'm armed. We're going to cut a few blocks behind Kelly's. The back door is only a few feet into the alley. We'll separate, you take the gun, and I'll continue on towards the front to make sure they follow me. Just slip your hand around me and under my coat when we separate. You'll be able to pick up the gun without them noticing," he said. Carly's eyes went wide.

"What about you?" she asked worriedly. He hugged her closer.

"Don't worry about me. When they follow me, get inside quickly. Get Bobbie, Michael, Elizabeth and Jess into the back room. You guys stay there until I come and get you. Call Sonny, and he and Johnny will be over as soon as the coast is clear," he explained. Carly nodded. They neared the alley. Before they separated, Carly smoothly brought her arms around Jason, and then tugged his arms around her waist as she slipped the gun into the waist of her pants. To any passerby, it would look like the two of them were sharing an embrace. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jason on the cheek before stepping back.

"Be careful, Jason. We'll wait in the back for you," she said. Jason nodded, his eyes still peeled on her.

"Shoot if you have to, Carly," he said quietly as he watched her enter the building.

* * *

"Momma!" Carly cried as she ran into the restaurant. "Momma!"

"Goodness, Carly. You're yelling like there's a fire somewhere. Calm down," Bobbie said with a grin as she walked back into the kitchen. The look on Carly's face sobered Bobbie quickly.

"Get Michael, Momma. I'll get Elizabeth and Jess. We need to go to the back," she said hurriedly as she went up to the front. Bobbie followed and picked up a happy Michael.

"Mommy!" he cried when he saw Carly. She paused for a second as she ran a loving hand over his cheek. Then, seeing Jess and Elizabeth, she called out to them.

"Jess …" she paused heavily before acknowledging the other girl. "… Liz. We need to get in the back." Jess, the nighttime waitress, looked at her curiously. Liz just gave her a dirty look.

"Yeah, sure Carly. Whatever you say, Carly," Liz said sarcastically as Jess and Bobbie started to head into the back. Pissed beyond belief, Carly whipped out the gun like a pro and aimed it at Liz. The younger girl looked at Carly shock before she sneered.

"So, you that insecure you need to take out the competition?" she asked. Carly didn't even want to think on that one.

"You can't compete with me, little girl. Now - you can either go in the back, like a good puppy, or I can leave you here for some mob goons to take care of should they want to cause trouble here. Take either of those options, or I can save them the annoyance and shoot you right now," Carly said. Finally taking in Carly's seriousness, Liz huffed and followed Bobbie, Michael and Jess into the back room.

"What's going on, Carly?" Bobbie asked, hugging Michael closer to her.

"Some goons were following me and Jason as we came over here – no body will tell me what kind of trouble they're looking for," she said, pulling out her cell phone to call Sonny, Johnny and reinforcements. It took her a second to control her shaking hands. She had to work to keep up her bravado. Pulling the gun on Elizabeth had almost kicked it out of her. She hated guns – almost as much as she hated cars.

"You left Jason out there to fend for himself?" Liz asked incredulously.

"Like I had a choice?" Carly sneered. "Besides, I know Jason can take care of himself. He's been doing this forever. But, if you don't have any faith in him, please - be my guest. Go help him," she continued, indicating the back door. Elizabeth looked hesitantly at the door, then crossed her arms and leaned back against the counter.

"That's what I thought," Carly said before she filled Sonny in on what was happening.

Jason made his way around the corner to the front of Kelly's. He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the men follow him and not Carly. He walked quickly towards the docks, hoping that he'd have enough back up at the warehouse to get rid of these guys. He turned the corner and stopped short when a larger man stepped into his path.

"Mr. Morgan…" the man said with a humorless smile. He drew a gun. "… how are you today?"

_

* * *

_

Twenty minutes later

Carly took Michael to the back in order to get him his wanted glass of water. After finishing, she picked him up and walked back into the dining area where Johnny and Sonny were waiting.

"Is Jason back yet?" she asked. Both men shook their heads. Gnawing on her lower lip, Carly watched the door.

"Don't worry, Carly. Francis and Reynaldo went after him. If anything happened, they'll get him," Johnny reassured. She smiled warmly at him.

"I know, Johnny. Thanks," she said, setting Michael down on a chair. Sighing, she walked back to find her mother.

"Momma?" she asked as she walked into the back room. She stopped suddenly when she saw Jason holding a sobbing Elizabeth in a close hug.

" … I was so worried about you! I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you!" the little twit said. Carly's heart dropped into her feet. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten.

"Jason! Oh my God, Jason, you're bleeding!" Elizabeth cried. Opening her eyes wide in shock, Carly looked at Jason as he leaned on Liz's shoulders for support. The wounded man dropped to his knees as his eyes locked with Carly's. She rushed to his side and peeled his jacket away to see a dark stain spreading slowly on his lower right side. Carly took the nearest towel and pressed it to the wound. Jason let out a small sound of pain, almost inaudible. With a quick, concerned look at the man she loved, Carly slid her hand around his waist. A slight feeling of relief came over her as she felt the telltale signs of an exit wound. Looking around, she felt a panic when she didn't see Francis or Reynaldo around. Carly sprung to her feet and sprinted back into the restaurant, she cried to Sonny and Johnny.

"Help! We've got to help Jason! He's been hurt!" Sonny and Johnny ran immediately back to the stock room. Carly still stood near the counter and watched as Johnny hauled Jason out of the small room and towards Kelly's front door. She continued to watch silently as little Elizabeth Webber clung to the wounded man - and the wounded man clung to her. Sonny followed the trio as he called in for help on his cell phone. Once Jason was loaded into the limo and the vehicle had sped off, Kelly's was completely silent.

"Carly?" Bobbie asked as she emerged. She was spattered with blood here and there from when she had helped to staunch Jason's blood flow. "Carly." Carly turned at her mother's voice to see her kneeling in front of a yawning Michael.

"Mamma…" Carly said, crouching down in front of Michael as well. "Is it okay if Michael and I stay at your place tonight? It's closer, and Mr. Man here is tired." Bobbie looked at her daughter, completely surprised that she had not immediately taken off after Jason.

_

* * *

_

A few days later

Carly walked up to the penthouse door and smiled at Johnny. He smiled back.

"How's he doing, Johnny?" she asked.

"He's doing a lot better. The doctor said he needs to take it easy for the next week, but everything looks to be healing nicely," he said. Carly smiled softly before nodding her head towards the door.

"Is he taking visitors?" she asked, causing Johnny to smile.

"I think he was expecting you a bit earlier, Ms. Spencer," he said as he opened the door. Carly smiled her thanks to the guard as she shifted the burden she was carrying from one arm to the other and made her way into the apartment. She was about to sit down in the empty living room when Jason entered, putting on a t-shirt slowly – hampered by his injury. He looked up at her when he realized he wasn't alone.

"Carly …" he said in greeting. Carly looked a little flustered.

"I'm sorry. Johnny didn't announce me," she explained. Jason shook his head with a smile.

"It's okay … he knows your revolving door policy," he said. Carly didn't return the smile but looked down at what she was holding.

"Ummm, Momma got this cleaned up and patched as best as she could for you," she said as she handed him his leather jacket. Jason took it and looked at it.

"I was wondering where this went," he said as he touched the patch covering the bullet hole in the back. Carly cleared her throat before explaining.

"We took it off of you at Kelly's and left it there. We didn't think anything of it until the morning waitress called the next morning saying she'd found it and wanted to know what had happened." Jason nodded. He knew there was something bothering Carly and he needed to find a way to get her to talk about it. She was being unusually closed-mouthed with him.

"Tell Bobbie thanks," he said. Carly watched him for a second. The past few days had allowed her to do a lot of thinking. She'd come to a lot of conclusions, and now, she needed to share them.

"Jason … we need to talk," she said as she turned away from him. Jason didn't like the sound of that as he sat slowly down on the couch.

"Okay. About what, Carly?" he asked. Carly turned back to him, her arms hugging herself._ About us._

"About things," she hedged. Jason smiled crookedly at Carly's delaying tactic.

"What things?" Carly looked straight at him.

"You and me things," she said. Jason didn't know what to say. He had no clue where she was heading with this conversation.

"What about you and me?" was all he could think of to ask. Carly bit her bottom lip, conveying her uncertainty.

"Why did you come back, Jason?" she asked. Jason was floored. Of all the questions for her to ask, that was not the one he expected. It took a second for his shock to wear off.

"I came back for you, Carly," he said. Carly shook her head.

"Why did you stay away?" she asked. Jason frowned.

"What?" he asked in confusion. Carly's eyes met his.

"I know why you left, Jason. But why did you stay away? If you came back for me now…" she started, but stopped, unsure of how to finish the question. Jason thought for a second as her question rolled around in his mind. He knew why he left. But he never really thought about why he stayed away.

"Was it for you, or for me?" Carly asked, as if reading his mind. Jason looked up at her. He knew what she was asking. Did he stay away to guard his feelings, or hers? Did he stay away to protect himself, or her? He looked back down at his hands and answered as honestly as he could.

"I don't know, Carly."

"I do," Carly said, causing him to look up at her again. The sad look on her face told him a lot of things. Things that weren't good. "You stayed away because we were best friends. You stayed away to save yourself from having to be hurt by me again. And you stayed away to save me the hurt of loving you. The best way to preserve our friendship was to leave it where it stood."

"Carly…" he started, but Carly held up her hand, stopping him. Silence fell as she turned to the windows. _No!_ Jason's mind screamed. _This isn't going right. She's got it all wrong!_

"The other night, I was so afraid that you would die. And then I saw you with Elizabeth and it was a whole other fear that I felt …" she said. Jason sighed.

"There is nothing going on with me and Elizabeth. There never was," he said, rubbing a hand over his face. Carly looked at him over her shoulder.

"That's not the point," she said, even though there was still a little doubt left in her eyes. Jason shook his head.

"It's always the point, Carly. Why don't you trust me?" he asked, his eyes pleading with hers.

"I do trust you, Jason. I trust you more than anyone in this world. I trust you with everything … everything but my heart," she said, not seeing the look of pain on his face as she turned her head to look out the window again. "You know what they all said when you left, Jason? They said that I betrayed you. What I did was a betrayal. I was the one that caused you enough pain to make you leave. Well, we both know that's not true." Jason held his breath as she turned completely around to face him. There were tears in her eyes, but she valiantly held them back. He knew she wouldn't cry. Not now. After everything, she wouldn't use tears against him and he knew it.

"Carly," he said softly. She continued on as if she hadn't heard him.

"We both know that I never meant enough to you to betray you. I never meant enough in order for there to _be_ a betrayal. There was nothing to betray. We had a friendship at best, Jason. That's all you would let there be because that was all you wanted. I understand that now. Go figure it took me to almost die and you to almost die for me to finally figure that out," she said, bringing a hand up to her forehead. She gave a short, half-hysterical laugh as she turned back to the window again.

"When I saw you with Elizabeth back at Kelly's, it brought back the other night. It brought back everything Sonny had said to me. That I wasn't good enough for you and that you were in love with Elizabeth. And tonight, Jason, I didn't feel the pain. I just felt the loss. I felt like I had lost the only purely good thing in my life, other than Michael. I lost our friendship, because we can't be friends, Jason. I can't stand by, like before, and watch you be happy with all the other little twits that will come and go. I don't know what your feelings are for little Lizzie, but at least I know Sonny was half right back then. I'll never be good enough for you, I'll never be what you need …" she said. Jason had heard enough. He walked up behind her and gently took her shoulders to turn her to him. He cupped her face with his hands and leaned in to kiss her. After a second, his hands slipped to her waist and pulled her closer to him. When the surprise had worn off, Carly let her arms snake around his neck and was careful not to press against his still healing side. Jason pushed aside the panic her earlier words had triggered and tried to put everything he felt into that kiss, but he knew that he would have to say the words. He knew that he needed to say them, and he knew Carly needed to hear them. He pulled back and watched Carly's eyes focus on him again.

"I love you, Carly," he said simply. He let the words sink in for a few moments before he reached up and touched her cheek. "I love you, and I need you. I can't erase our history and rewrite it, no matter how much I want to. There is nothing that I can say to make everything that has happened between us in the past all right again." He stopped as Carly's hand came up and touched his hand where it lay on her cheek.

"Yes, there is something you can say, Jase. And you just said it," she said, biting her lip as she fought tears once again.

**_

* * *

_**

AN: I plan on this being continued... I just need to get my head wrapped around the plot a little better and I promise I'll get back to this. Sorry for the wait...


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